In the summer of 2017, I made a pact with myself. I promised myself to heal from my childhood trauma and to begin living an extraordinary life. A life filled with my passions, happiness, and goals.
I made a promise to myself to always look at life as it is and make it into what I want it to be. Looking at my life as a glass half full versus half empty.
This expression helps me view life through an optimistic view versus a pessimism view. Optimism is having hopefulness and confidence, whereas pessimism is the opposite, thinking the worst.
Where do I begin? When is the right time to start? How can I be successful? Who will support me?
These questions have been levitating in my head for over 4 years, as I continue on my journey. I plan to answer these questions as I pass on some tips and tricks to you.
So here I am, reminiscing about the beginning, where I started...
I was at my lowest.
Stuck on an emotional rollercoaster with my family and with someone I thought was my soulmate; while re-entering my birth family's life, fighting with my foster family, attending university full-time, being a part of campus organizations, being a college athlete, working 3 jobs, and auditioning for modeling gigs.
Honestly, my plate was overflowing with responsibilities. I had an intense schedule, was taking shit from everyone, and can we talk about how poorly my time management was... Still, is? Let's address time management and stress management in later articles!
The bottom line was... I was on academic probation. I was mentally unstable with the overwhelming loads of stress I endured daily. The depression was affecting my education, relationships, and physical health.
Not doing well in school was hurting me the most. Even when I was fighting with my family in elementary through high school, I always stayed on top of my grades. It was the only place I was perfect. Where I was valued.
School has always been my safe place, my happy place; failing wasn't an option! I wanted the chaos to stop. I wanted to do and be good. I wanted to finally feel happy and in control of my life.
Finally reaching my breaking point, this time in my early 20's. I had had enough! That was my first step at being proactive about my life and improving my decision-making skills.
I did have a choice and I was going to choose myself. I choose self-love and growth and healing.
I had reached the first step in my femininity journey. I didn't even call it a journey in the beginning. I called it an escape plan. Trauma would no longer have control over me, I am putting an end to the cycle of chaos. I was ready for change. I was ready to restart my life.
And so I did. I'm doing it and I want to share my story with you. So, here we are. The creation of Restart; now, revamped to Restart with Keke (RWK).
It was the right step in my life to start over because I wanted to be emotionally stable and my ego isn't too big to admit that I was going crazy. I recognized what happiness looked like and realized that the shit show I was experiencing... Was not it!
Before we leave, I wanted to give some insightful tips to help guide you on self-improvement.
5 Tips to Claim Your Life
Step 1: Reprogram Your Brain
Step 2: Give Yourself Grace
Don't be afraid to let go. Find peace in clarity and space. What happened to you in your childhood doesn't define you. What you do with what you have does. Give yourself grace for those things out of your control. Take
Step 3: Build a Support System
Step 4: Find Your Why
Step 5: Be Proactive
It's time for a new approach! Let's break the cycle of responding to negativity. It's time to take control of your emotions and how you respond. Being proactive requires you to critically think about your situation. It allows you to evaluate how you want the future to be by reflecting on possible outcomes.
We must observe and organize our thoughts in order to take our focus away from the problem and redirect it to finding solutions.
The next step was coming up with a plan to follow through. It wasn't just enough to recognize I needed a change. I had to do something about it and I wanted to be successful at healing.
So I asked myself what I wanted out of life.
I wanted to be a scholar and I wanted to help people...
I want to be a scientist. Specifically, I wanted to know the science behind human development. The way we grow, the decision we make, our brains and behavior, you name it, I wanted to know... My road to success would be through education, at university.
Although this is my truth, your journey and road to success could look completely different from mine.
I want you to stop reading and grab a notebook. Take about 15-25 minutes to fill out the questions below and then continue this article. Really give this thought. Only you are in control of your future!
1. Why do I want to heal?
2. Where does my healing begin?
3. When will I start my healing journey?
I would love to hear some of your responses, if you feel comfortable. Click the email below to email me.
When I answered questions 1-3, I noticed that something was missing. I didn't have support. Well, I didn't recognize who was there for me. Who would accept my feelings, steer me into the right direction and really uplift me when I was struggling?
This seeking help thing, was new for me. At less, I was raised to not depend on anyone and to struggle in silence. So, I felt pretty desperate reaching out and putting my business out there.
Quickly I learned that vulnerability and support went hand and hand.
This is when I reached out to an amazing women who was leading a cohort program I was attending.
She became a big mentor and influence to me. Honestly, I had looked up to her way before I started my healing process. Having her in my corner, having this form of sisterhood and support from another women, a black women was powerful.
She was golden, but I needed more. She suggested therapy and I gave it a try on and off. It was hard finding a therapist with the skills and reliability I needed with the insurance I had.
This lead me to reverting back to one of my biggest escapes and favorite healing technique, reading.
I read and read and read about healing your inner child and self-development. Then I came across a new term. This term was called a femininity journey.
Oh boy, was I intrigued.
Okay stop here and take 15-25 minutes feeling out the questions below:
4. How can I be successful during this journey?
5. Who are my allies and support system?
6. What resources are available to educate myself?
Whether you're on a cleanse, journey, retreat, it's really important to journal your process. This can be done through videography, journaling, typing and etc. Recording your progress not only helps you stay consistent, but it also helps you track where you are and where you want to go.
You'll be able to see were you may have went wrong and how you can learn from those experience. Your journal records can help you mark success and maybe you'll even pass along your tips and tricks.
Maybe you can make a guide or note to your past and future self.
Maybe this can be something you give your teens as they develop into adulthood, womanhood and/or manhood.
So here it is, my passion project!
For years, I have served as a useful source to those seeking inspiration, help, or advice. I've finally decided to own that role and be intentional about it.
I started Restart with the intent to empower, educate and unlock all my capabilities and yours too.
Healing our inner child, not only prepares us for parenthood, but it sets that path for our woman or manhood.
As a cisgender woman, I will be focusing on femininity, but I welcome all to join as we break generational curses, heal our inner child and build on our self-development.
I'm talking self-love, self-worth and etc. And yes, we won't just being focussing on inner beauty, yet outer beauty too.
This site is dedicated to building innovation, providing resources, networking, and easy online shopping solutions.
Now you know a little about me and my brand! Please contact me with requests, questions 1-6, or just to say hello. Be sure to sign up for our email list where you'll not only get a 10% off coupon, but you'll get to stay updated with all the benefits RWK has to offer through our newsletters.
Remember to be you, be true, and live FEARLESS.